1. |
Snaggy Bob The Beekeeper
03:39
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We’ve a mate called Bob
And he’s one hell of a guy
And he plays the drums
And once sat on Rob Halford’s bike
He likes to drink
Though it’s often bad for his health
He once pissed in a glass
And tipped it all over himself
Tipped it all over himself
Tipped it all over himself
Tipped it all over…
He keeps bees!
He is a beekeeper!
Snaggy Bob’s his name!
He sells drugs!
He can ride a unicycle!
Snaggy Bob, what a guy!
Now that Snaggy Bob
Put yourselves in his shoes
He’s all by himself
Drinking all of the booze
On a busy commuter train
Going to a metal concert
Oh fuck, he needs to chuck
He vomited on his shirt
He vomited on his shirt
He vomited on his shirt
He vomited on his…
He keeps bees!
He is a beekeeper!
Snaggy Bob’s his name!
He sells drugs!
He can ride a unicycle!
Snaggy Bob, what a guy!
Banned from Virgin Music store at the age of 11
Stores booze in pharmacy bags for safe keeping
Kicked out of an Obituary gig before the show even started
Spent a night in A&E for fighting over a pink ukulele
He keeps bees!
He is a beekeeper!
Snaggy Bob’s his name!
He sells drugs!
He can ride a unicycle!
Snaggy Bob, what a guy!
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2. |
Willies Are For Weeing
04:12
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I’ve got a sad fact about the world today
Ignoring the hate and the hunger on display
Dicks have been given a bad rep for far too long
They’re not just about getting stuck up anything warm
Willies are for weeing!
Shout it out with me!
Woo-woo wee-wee!
Willies are for weeing!
Willies are for weeing!
I’ve got a cock it’s got a job it don’t mind at all
Folks you gotta know he’s more than a meaty whore
This motherfucker’s a lean mean fighting peen
But he loves nothing more than hosing the porcelain
Willies are for weeing!
Shout it out with me!
Woo-woo wee-wee!
Willies are for weeing!
Willies are for weeing!
And all of my life
I’ve been pissing every day
And I know I love it
DRAIN THE SNAKE
DRAIN THE SNAKE
DRAIN THE SNAKE
DRAIN THE SNAKE
DRAIN THE SNAKE
DRAIN THE SNAKE
SEE A MAN ABOUT A DOG
AND DRAIN THE SNAKE
Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa
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3. |
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Here comes the hero with a heart made of fire
Decimating mankind with alluring attire
Riding in on horseback and slaying all foes
Wielding a slide whistle he can play with his toes
Furiously and endlessly, his enemies will fall
Knocking back the alcohol he can take a bit of drink
The sight of him in a dress pleases more than you’d think
He’s a God and we’re mere men
An existential paradox you cannot comprehend
Some might say it’s decadence
The Paul Taylor Experience
Straddling a leviathan with a trident of light
Annihilating anything that puts up a fight
Staring into their eyes until all life is gone
Looking a bit awkward when he doesn’t know what’s going on
Men and women helplessly will answer to the call
Dancing in Rebellion Bar with a Buckfast to quaff
Wearing a mask of the lord David Hasslehoff
He’s a God and we’re mere men
An existential paradox you cannot comprehend
Some might say it’s decadence
The Paul Taylor Experience
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4. |
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Ready
Steady
Fuck!
A respected celebrity
Is not who I'm meant to be
Cookery and sodomy
Feels so right for me
Kidnap Helen Worth
From Coronation Street
Take her back to my kitchen
To tenderise her meat
I am Ainsley Harriet
A well known chef and meme
But fucking and cooking soap stars
Has always been my dream
Start fucking!
I've got all my ingredients
In these paper bags
Red tomatoes, green peppers
Stuff them up her ass
Some might say the garnish
Is pushing it too far
But I will make her wetter than
Richard Hillman's car
Stuffing her with spicy meat
The aroma is divine
Can Fuck, Will Fuck Gail Platt
Than cook and serve with wine
I am Ainsley Harriet
A well known chef and meme
And serving a Gail Platter
Has always been my dream
Stop fucking!
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
Gail Platter
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5. |
Dick Pics
05:47
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Home alone with just my phone
And two or three bottles of wine
You know that chicks like dick pics?
I’ve heard it on the grapevine
Whip it out, it’s short and stout
And looking a bit worse for wear
But on Instagram I can filter-spam
To make it a more classy affair
Close up with macro on
The way dangles from several angles
Resting on some bags of fun
Wide lens to fit it in
The inner sheen of a nectarine
Glistening with remnants of cum
Supplied
Through satellites to you against your will
Magnified
A bulbous dong in mid-windmill
You can’t hide
It’s just a flick of your thumb away
A barrage of fleshy snake soufflé
Broadside
Twenty guns of manliness explode
Inside
Your phone is full of sweaty chode
Squint-eyed
Stares you down and makes you sick
I’m sending drunk pictures of my dick
I’m super drunk and I’ve snapped my junk
Now I bet that you’re wanting me
And I’ll rejoice that you’re super moist
And ignore it if you disagree
Close up with macro on
The way dangles from several angles
Resting on some bags of fun
Wide lens to fit it in
The inner sheen of a nectarine
Glistening with remnants of cum
Supplied
Through satellites to you against your will
Magnified
A bulbous dong in mid-windmill
You can’t hide
It’s just a flick of your thumb away
A barrage of fleshy snake soufflé
Broadside
Twenty guns of manliness explode
Inside
Your phone is full of sweaty chode
Squint-eyed
Stares you down and makes you sick
I’m sending drunk pictures of my dick
Why’ve you not replied?
Replying was implied
I sent you pics of sack
So you would love me back
I snapped up my womb broom
So I could make you swoon
These pics I will regret
When I find them on the net
Supplied
Through satellites to you against your will
Magnified
A bulbous dong in mid-windmill
You can’t hide
It’s just a flick of your thumb away
A barrage of fleshy snake soufflé
Broadside
Twenty guns of manliness explode
Inside
Your phone is full of sweaty chode
Squint-eyed
Stares you down and makes you sick
I’m sending drunk pictures of my dick
Supplied
Through satellites to you against your will
Magnified
A bulbous dong in mid-windmill
You can’t hide
It’s just a flick of your thumb away
A barrage of fleshy snake soufflé
Broadside
Twenty guns of manliness explode
Inside
Your phone is full of sweaty chode
Squint-eyed
Stares you down and makes you sick
I’m sending drunk pictures of my dick
I'm sending drunk pictures of my dick again
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6. |
Sexual Harrisment
03:29
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I’m an evil cunt, on that we’re all agreed
I’m famous; I’ve got everything I need
But I’ll tell you what I’m going to do
Find the nearest defenceless child and then pursue
Just see those fuckers stop me (stop me)
I’m prime time, old ladies love me (they love me)
I’ll do a jig and I’ll dance and I’ll laugh
Who wants (an autograph)?
Oh come on, take my hand, I’ll take you where the Yewtreers go
There’s a party every night and we’ve got lots of blow
The fuzz are hot on our heels so let’s skip out of town
I’m a celeb, I’ll do what I want, so tie that kangaroo down
Can you imagine being beyond the law
Where every child is your own whore
Well that’s my life and I don’t have to beg
To show underage girls Jake the Peg
Just see those fuckers stop me (stop me)
I’m prime time, old ladies love me (they love me)
I’ll do a jig and I’ll dance and I’ll laugh
Who wants an autograph?
(Can you tell what it is yet?)
Just see those fuckers stop me (stop me)
I’m prime time, old ladies love me (they love me)
I’ll do a jig and I’ll dance and I’ll laugh
Who wants (an autograph)?
Oh come on, take my hand, I’ll take you where the Yewtree’ers go
There’s a party every night and we’ve got lots of blow
The fuzz are hot on our heels so let’s skip out of town
I’m a celeb, I’ll do what I want, so tie that kangaroo down
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7. |
Battlemuff
07:03
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When I was a young warrior, I was feared across the lands
Until the time an axe wound turned that boy into a man
Overpowered I fought back strong, every blow I did miss
With a beastly yawn meat-flaps opened; I was lost to the abyss
With a vicious gash my honour was snatched from me
Slaughtered and bathed in spiteful promiscuity
All hail the Battlemuff
There was never a cunt as tough
From the birth of man to Ragnarok
It won’t stop ‘til it’s had your cock
When I had sheathed, that leathered scabbard had been used a thousand times
Valhalla lay before my eyes full of meat and wine
I prayed to Thor to grant me strength, so my wife would not grieve
And with a scream I drove my blade into that bearded meaty sleeve
With the roar of a Troll and the howl of Fenrir she clenched onto me
And elicited an act that even Heimdall should not see
All hail the Battlemuff
There was never a cunt as tough
From the birth of man to Ragnarok
It won’t stop ‘til it’s had your cock
All hail the Battlemuff
A thousand cocks were not enough
All hail the Battlemuff
A wretched beast so coarse and rough
The seeds of life are drawn from me
And laid bare for all to see
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Footprints In The Custard Manchester, UK
Award-winning Party Metal Band from Manchester, UK.
Heavy and catchy tunes about partying, smelly genitals, unusual sexual habits, and bears.
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