Good Honest Scumbags / Gone Fisting (2013)

by Scumface & Footprints In The Custard

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about

Includes both Scumface's 'Good Honest Scumbags' and Footprints In The Custard's 'Gone Fisting' as a split E.P.

credits

released February 12, 2013

Full download credits:

Tracks 1-32 by Scumface
Recorded by Ant Booth (www.antbooth.co.uk)

Tracks 33-39 by Footprints In The Custard
Produced by Ian Fraser

Scumface 'Good Honest Scumbags' cover art by Brian Fitzpatrick (www.facebook.com/uttermadnessdesign)
Footprints In The Custard 'Gone Fisting' cover art by Shaun Martland
(www.facebook.com/MrPictoCommissions)

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all rights reserved

about

Footprints In The Custard Manchester, UK

In the summer of 2006, a group of bored college students decided to form a band. Pizza, Whisky and Pepto Bismal. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect band. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X.

Thus Footprints In The Custard were born!

Three albums, an EP and a Christmas single later, no one has died or gone on fire. Yet.
... more

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Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Blue Waffle
Before I say I love you,
There's something I must know,
What is that rancid stench,
That wafts from down below

Like plastic on the griddle,
And eggs left far too long,
My darling I must say,
Your cunt smells fucking wrong

Put it back,
Lock it away,
It's like a petrol station,
On a rainy day
The stench is so vile,
It just isn't fair,
It's like a scene,
From my sexual nightmares

Your Blue Waffle,
I shed a tear,
As I grit my teeth,
And swallow my fear,
Petrol hanger,
A fucking disgrace,
As its brought down low,
And pressed into my face

Decaying before my eyes,
Like spam left in the sun,
The thought of ploughing you,
Is no longer so much fun

As I start to turn away,
Sun rising in the east,
I see your boils of pus,
Are festooned with yeast

What is that thing,
What does it do,
Why does it spurt,
With all hues of blue,
The stench is so vile,
It just isn't fair,
It's like a scene,
From my sexual nightmares

Your Blue Waffle,
I shed a tear,
When I grit my teeth,
And swallow my fear,
Petrol hanger,
A fucking disgrace,
When it's brought down low,
And pressed into my face.
Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Ureaka! (I've Done It)
Let me regale a tale of woe
With such a bitter end
Involving a gig and lots of booze
It's hard to comprehend
I found myself deep in my cups
Pissed out of my head
And with a bladder full to bursting
I crawled into my bed

Horns of ale and pints of beer
I'm filled to the brim
An alcoholic tug of war
That I don't think I can win

Ureaka! I've done it!
The amber nectar flows
I got so drunk in the middle of Preston
I pissed all on my clothes

Ureaka! I've done it!
Made sense at the time
To cast off my blue denim jeans
And soak them in urine!

Bleary eyed, pounding skull
I woke to dire straits
Discovering what I'd done last night
When I opened the flood gates
A pool of shame and wee-wee
Upon my sisters floor
I knelt down and sobbed
In the waste that I had poured

Koppabergs and Jager shots
A veritable cocktail
I didn't know my night would end
With such an epic fail

NOOOOOO!!!
My jeans?! What have I done?
I'm going to have to wash them...
No...
Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Jizzbolt
I’ve got a secret no one should know
That reveals itself every time I get a blow

As if out of nowhere – straight to the face
JizzBolt

Knocked to the ground, blinded by the light
Fury of the Gods, blistering and bright
The salty pent-up rage bears down upon
As tears, blood and semen now merge as one

It’s a guilty pleasure of mine
I’ll end them one whore at a time

As if out of nowhere – straight to the face
JizzBolt

Knocked to the ground, blinded by the light
Fury of the Gods, blistering and bright
The salty pent-up rage bears down upon
As Tears, blood and semen now merge as one

JIZZ
JIZZ BOLTJIZZ
JIZZ BOLT
JIZZ
JIZZ BOLTJIZZ JIZZ
JIZZ BOLT YEAH
Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Wasted
Happy Hour
Is here at last
Time to indulge
In a liquid repast

Have the barkeep
pour me a drink
Cause tonight
I'm gonna forget how to think

Give me some more
(Dirty Pints)
Crash to the floor
(Whisky shots)
Oh, good God
(What is that?!)
I think I'm gonna be <RETCH!!!!>

My beer goggles
(Booze, booze, booze)
Are sewn on too tight
(Drink, drink, drink)
I can't see right
(Vom, vom, vom)
Wasted! Wasted!

This drunken haze
(Booze, booze, booze)
Is becoming a maze
(drink, drink, drink)
My eyes are glazed
(Vom, vom, vom)
Wasted! Wasted!

I'll tell you
When I had enough
I'll drink beer
From your Mum's muff

Yeah, I went there
I'll say it again
Have I ever told you
You're my best friend

Okay, I see
I've gone too far
Be a good time
To jump in the car

Where are my keys?
Where is my scotch?
Why is there vomit
all over my crotch?
Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Heat of the Moment
Met a girl at a local bar
Told her I was a big rock star
Sweet tattoos and long dark hair
I wanted in to her underwear

Line them up, knock them back
Damn this girl is great
But I didn’t know, when in the sack
What she’d initiate

In the heat of the moment
You can hear me scream
Part my butt cheeks open
Cram a finger in between
Oh, in the heat of the moment
I feel like I could cry
With your fingernails up my shit trail
Kiss my dignity goodbye

Damn this girl was really fine
I took her right on back to mine
I didn’t know and I’m not to blame
That she’d play me at my own game

Back at home another beer
Shit I was really drunk
I didn’t know, and I’m sincere
She’d stick it where it stunk

In the heat of the moment
You can hear me scream
Part my butt cheeks open
Cram a finger in between
Oh, in the heat of the moment
I feel like I could cry
With your fingernails up my shit trail
Kiss my dignity goodbye

(Oh! The shame...)
She’s spreading my cheeks
(Oh! The shame...)
That shit reeks
(Oh! The shame...)
Caressing my groove
(Oh! The shame...)
There’s no lube!
(Oh! The shame...)
Forage inside
(Oh! The shame...)
Swallow my pride
(Oh! The shame...)
Now she’s inside
Oh fuck... I’ve come

In the heat of the moment
You can hear me scream
Part my butt cheeks open
Cram a finger in between
Oh, in the heat of the moment
I feel like I could cry
With your fingernails up my shit trail
Kiss my dignity goodbye
Track Name: Footprints In The Custard - Taking The Black
Have white and pasty wenches,
Lost all of their allure,
Do you plough and churn the field,
And wish you could have more?
Don't you fret my lucky man,
A brave new world awaits,
To change your life forever,
Walk through the black gates

Cutthroats and rapists,
Bastards and thieves,
Honour and glory
or death on your knees?
Stand your ground,
Ring out the bell,
On my command,
Unleash Hell

Winter is coming,
The choice has been made,
You can't turn away,
From the course that is laid,
You swore an oath,
And you can't take it back,
Cause when you take the black,
You can never go back!

Oaths that can't be broken,
Stay with you for life,
Turn your back on winter,
Take shadow for a wife,
Turn away from sunshine,
You can't abide the light
You plunge our swords in darkness,
And thrust away all night

Cutthroats and rapists,
Bastards and thieves,
Honour and glory
or death on your knees?
Stand your ground,
Ring out the bell,
On my command,
Unleash Hell

Black!
As the flightless crow
Black!
Sends me down below
Black!
Set me on this track
I've taken the black
I can never go back

Winter is coming,
The choice has been made,
You can't turn away,
From the course that is laid,
You swore an oath,
And you can't take it back,
Cause when you take the black,
You can never go back!