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Good Honest Scumbags / Gone Fisting (2013)

by Scumface & Footprints In The Custard

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    While this download contains both sides of the EP split, you can stream the Scumface side here: http://crappunk.com/
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1.
Before I say I love you, There's something I must know, What is that rancid stench, That wafts from down below Like plastic on the griddle, And eggs left far too long, My darling I must say, Your cunt smells fucking wrong Put it back, Lock it away, It's like a petrol station, On a rainy day The stench is so vile, It just isn't fair, It's like a scene, From my sexual nightmares Your Blue Waffle, I shed a tear, As I grit my teeth, And swallow my fear, Petrol hanger, A fucking disgrace, As its brought down low, And pressed into my face Decaying before my eyes, Like spam left in the sun, The thought of ploughing you, Is no longer so much fun As I start to turn away, Sun rising in the east, I see your boils of pus, Are festooned with yeast What is that thing, What does it do, Why does it spurt, With all hues of blue, The stench is so vile, It just isn't fair, It's like a scene, From my sexual nightmares Your Blue Waffle, I shed a tear, When I grit my teeth, And swallow my fear, Petrol hanger, A fucking disgrace, When it's brought down low, And pressed into my face.
2.
Let me regale a tale of woe With such a bitter end Involving a gig and lots of booze It's hard to comprehend I found myself deep in my cups Pissed out of my head And with a bladder full to bursting I crawled into my bed Horns of ale and pints of beer I'm filled to the brim An alcoholic tug of war That I don't think I can win Ureaka! I've done it! The amber nectar flows I got so drunk in the middle of Preston I pissed all on my clothes Ureaka! I've done it! Made sense at the time To cast off my blue denim jeans And soak them in urine! Bleary eyed, pounding skull I woke to dire straits Discovering what I'd done last night When I opened the flood gates A pool of shame and wee-wee Upon my sisters floor I knelt down and sobbed In the waste that I had poured Koppabergs and Jager shots A veritable cocktail I didn't know my night would end With such an epic fail NOOOOOO!!! My jeans?! What have I done? I'm going to have to wash them... No...
3.
I’ve got a secret no one should know That reveals itself every time I get a blow As if out of nowhere – straight to the face JizzBolt Knocked to the ground, blinded by the light Fury of the Gods, blistering and bright The salty pent-up rage bears down upon As tears, blood and semen now merge as one It’s a guilty pleasure of mine I’ll end them one whore at a time As if out of nowhere – straight to the face JizzBolt Knocked to the ground, blinded by the light Fury of the Gods, blistering and bright The salty pent-up rage bears down upon As Tears, blood and semen now merge as one JIZZ JIZZ BOLTJIZZ JIZZ BOLT JIZZ JIZZ BOLTJIZZ JIZZ JIZZ BOLT YEAH
4.
Happy Hour Is here at last Time to indulge In a liquid repast Have the barkeep pour me a drink Cause tonight I'm gonna forget how to think Give me some more (Dirty Pints) Crash to the floor (Whisky shots) Oh, good God (What is that?!) I think I'm gonna be <RETCH!!!!> My beer goggles (Booze, booze, booze) Are sewn on too tight (Drink, drink, drink) I can't see right (Vom, vom, vom) Wasted! Wasted! This drunken haze (Booze, booze, booze) Is becoming a maze (drink, drink, drink) My eyes are glazed (Vom, vom, vom) Wasted! Wasted! I'll tell you When I had enough I'll drink beer From your Mum's muff Yeah, I went there I'll say it again Have I ever told you You're my best friend Okay, I see I've gone too far Be a good time To jump in the car Where are my keys? Where is my scotch? Why is there vomit all over my crotch?
5.
Met a girl at a local bar Told her I was a big rock star Sweet tattoos and long dark hair I wanted in to her underwear Line them up, knock them back Damn this girl is great But I didn’t know, when in the sack What she’d initiate In the heat of the moment You can hear me scream Part my butt cheeks open Cram a finger in between Oh, in the heat of the moment I feel like I could cry With your fingernails up my shit trail Kiss my dignity goodbye Damn this girl was really fine I took her right on back to mine I didn’t know and I’m not to blame That she’d play me at my own game Back at home another beer Shit I was really drunk I didn’t know, and I’m sincere She’d stick it where it stunk In the heat of the moment You can hear me scream Part my butt cheeks open Cram a finger in between Oh, in the heat of the moment I feel like I could cry With your fingernails up my shit trail Kiss my dignity goodbye (Oh! The shame...) She’s spreading my cheeks (Oh! The shame...) That shit reeks (Oh! The shame...) Caressing my groove (Oh! The shame...) There’s no lube! (Oh! The shame...) Forage inside (Oh! The shame...) Swallow my pride (Oh! The shame...) Now she’s inside Oh fuck... I’ve come In the heat of the moment You can hear me scream Part my butt cheeks open Cram a finger in between Oh, in the heat of the moment I feel like I could cry With your fingernails up my shit trail Kiss my dignity goodbye
6.
Have white and pasty wenches, Lost all of their allure, Do you plough and churn the field, And wish you could have more? Don't you fret my lucky man, A brave new world awaits, To change your life forever, Walk through the black gates Cutthroats and rapists, Bastards and thieves, Honour and glory or death on your knees? Stand your ground, Ring out the bell, On my command, Unleash Hell Winter is coming, The choice has been made, You can't turn away, From the course that is laid, You swore an oath, And you can't take it back, Cause when you take the black, You can never go back! Oaths that can't be broken, Stay with you for life, Turn your back on winter, Take shadow for a wife, Turn away from sunshine, You can't abide the light You plunge our swords in darkness, And thrust away all night Cutthroats and rapists, Bastards and thieves, Honour and glory or death on your knees? Stand your ground, Ring out the bell, On my command, Unleash Hell Black! As the flightless crow Black! Sends me down below Black! Set me on this track I've taken the black I can never go back Winter is coming, The choice has been made, You can't turn away, From the course that is laid, You swore an oath, And you can't take it back, Cause when you take the black, You can never go back!
7.

about

Includes both Scumface's 'Good Honest Scumbags' and Footprints In The Custard's 'Gone Fisting' as a split E.P.

credits

released February 12, 2013

Full download credits:

Tracks 1-32 by Scumface
Recorded by Ant Booth (www.antbooth.co.uk)

Tracks 33-39 by Footprints In The Custard
Produced by Ian Fraser

Scumface 'Good Honest Scumbags' cover art by Brian Fitzpatrick (www.facebook.com/uttermadnessdesign)
Footprints In The Custard 'Gone Fisting' cover art by Shaun Martland
(www.facebook.com/MrPictoCommissions)

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Footprints In The Custard Manchester, UK

Award-winning Party Metal Band from Manchester, UK.

Heavy and catchy tunes about partying, smelly genitals, unusual sexual habits, and bears.

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