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If there was a book with every STD in it, it would not only be out of date but you would catch AIDs from it.

Especially if you lick the pages.


I had been out drinking myself half to death
My vision was blurred my motor skills had left
That’s when I saw her; an angel bathed in divine light
I took her home where she showed me one hell of a night

But now it seems that three days later something just ain’t right
Itching flaking burning breaking keeps me up all night

Oh my God my junk is turning green itching like hell
And now what is that God awful smell?
It’s vile discharge dripping down my legs

Tell me what did I do to deserve these rancid gifts?
I was looking for the ride of my life what I got was syphilis
Everyone said it was plain to see but I could not tell from afar
That she’d been round the block more times than a rusty old used car

Now it seems my skin is flaking, no mistaking the rash
Caught from her sickening diseased unclean gash
The crabs and lice are at home in her erogenous zone

At the time it felt so right but now it seems that I’m the victim
There’s signs of major decay in every single rotting symptom

Festering boils sick with disease all that comes out of my penis is cheese
From then to now the contrast is stark I find it alarming that it glows in the dark
Flaky and rotten smells like a farm mushrooms and fungi can only mean harm
Fallen comrade closest of friends once tall and proud has gone green at the end


from Every Hole Is A Goal (2011), released October 1, 2011
Everything by Footprints In The Custard.

Recorded/Mixed by Ian Fraser at Filth Wizard Studios in Manchester.



all rights reserved


Footprints In The Custard Manchester, UK

In the summer of 2006, a group of bored college students decided to form a band. Pizza, Whisky and Pepto Bismal. These were the ingredients chosen to create the perfect band. But Professor Utonium accidentally added an extra ingredient to the concoction... Chemical X.

Thus Footprints In The Custard were born!

Three albums, an EP and a Christmas single later, no one has died or gone on fire. Yet.
... more

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