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The Descent Of Decency (2016)

by Footprints In The Custard

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    A physical copy of the album that you can wipe clean yourselves. Try and fit your junk through the little CD hole! Digipack and 8-page booklet.

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  • 'Descent Of Decency' T-Shirt!
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    T-Shirt featuring the album cover!

    Made with Gildan Heavy shirts, 4-colour printed design.

    Available in Small through to 3XL, with some limited availability in Ladies sizes!

    Album art and T-Shirt design by Nos4a2 Design - www.facebook.com/nos4a2lives

    Actual printed colours may vary due to supplier availability!

    Includes unlimited streaming of The Descent Of Decency (2016) via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.

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1.
Released from self-served exile The year of the weasel has come For five long years he has waited Now he’s back and the plan of attack Is to party and get messed up Fuck yeah let’s get annihilated Come on everybody Move your bodies Shake your arses swing your hair It’s the party To end all parties Raise your glasses to the air You know you’ve all got invites Into his lair we go BYOB, let’s get wasted Now we’re here, scream and cheer Let your inhibitions go The thrill is so intoxicating Yeah, do the moon dance Move like a weasel Down all of the shots Fall like a weasel Get into a fight Punch like a weasel Try out your luck And fuck like a weasel Party into the early hours It’s what we were born to do This gathering was long awaited In the burrow you forget your sorrow And live in the moment again All is great when you’re inebriated
2.
Wankclaw 05:13
One day in my youth, I fell upon my knees To give my jellied eel, a good and mighty squeeze Suddenly a stiffening, in my moist and hairy paw I looked down in terror, at my newly formed wankclaw Erotic rigor mortis Brought me to this end With this grotesque gauntlet The streets I shall defend Flee from me What is that it smells like cheddar? Flee from me I have wanked my dick to fetters Flee from me In a pool of jizz I lay Flee from me I am Wankclaw, save the day! I AM I AM WANKCLAW I AM I AM WANKCLAW I patrol the streets, with my love gruel coated claw Villains and rapscallions, can only scream in awe I descend upon them, a terror in the night And with my glove of love, I'll set this world aright Fall before me minor lords of mischief! I am the sausage in the clambake of law! I shall invoke terror in your slack peckers! I shall tear your asunder with my wankclaw! The lugubrious chapter of Wankclaw is nigh! With my deformed hand I shall smite thee! No hovel is safe from my thrusting creeper! The snivelling quims shall fall before me! This is now my fate, on this day forever more All because I wanted, to spank my man meat raw So I will stalk in darkness, and shun the hated light So I may be the hero, the Wankclaw in the night!
3.
People of earth Heed these words And you'll see This is the way it's meant to be Five sages Across the land Join as one Fight for the right to fuck for freedom Covering the world In purple and in green Raise your banners high For the lords of the obscene On this fateful night We will rise Masters of the filth We breathe vulgarity Bringing forth the end The descent of decency We will turn to ashes The world you knew before Cos Footprints in the Custard Are declaring an all-out war Take to the streets And bear arms Might combined Convert the jerks who're disinclined Make some noise Join the ranks Our catharsis Pull down their pants and fuck their arses On this fateful night We hold our member high and unite
4.
Party Metal 03:06
Turn up the sound, turn up the bass Let’s get smashed and off our faces Let’s get this party started Blast out metal and down some shots Eye up someone you want to fuck And we’ll get fucking wasted I know there’s no better feeling And I doubt you’ll disagree Rocking out with a beer in my hand Drunken dancing, singing With all my friends around me PARTY METAL! Tonight we’re getting messy dance ‘til we drop Feel the pump of the metal filling you up Banging our heads hard and stamping our feet Scream and shout out loud and move to the beat Cracking out cold beers and downing in one Do a tactical chunder - carry on Lose all of your clothes get outta control With friends, drink and metal we are whole The world is swimming, the beats are fast There are lots of strangers touching your ass Had too much I can’t see straight You can’t get served you’ll go without Start a pit and get kicked out You’re far too drunk for this mate PARTY METAL!
5.
Chilling out in the hotel room Rocking some wood not got much to do Feeling kinky – fetch the rope Give Hittori Hanzo a stroke Remember the scouts? Tie some knots Let’s give something new a shot Round my neck so nice and tight Squirt my semen in delight Lock the door Tie the tie And hope to hell That you don’t die Hanging with David Carradine Touches all the pressure points Swinging together for eternity Could never disappoint Hanging with David Carradine I’m so happy I can’t breathe Just killing my Bill to the extreme Until my balls begin to seethe Pulling out the fancy dress Fishnet stockings are the best Why is everything depraved? When I’m hanging out with my mate Dave? I wish I hadn’t volunteered Things are getting a bit too weird Clashing blades in a Thai closet Not the best way to go was it? Stephen Milligan did transgress Michael Hutchence did it in excess (Strangle noises) Let’s do the strangle wank! Block up the airways And sample the flavour You’re gonna be grateful For the labour When you reach climax The feeling you’ll savour But tomorrow you’ll be found By your neighbour
6.
Get the drinks in, get your clothes off Tonight we’re playing a game Deal the cards out, spin the bottle Tonight I have no shame Just when it seemed to be going my way It started to look like a bad choice to play Close enough to clunge To wash the pain away Close enough to clunge That I’m not completely gay I’m so close I can see it I wish that I could touch it Maybe I’ll spaff all on it Oh God I’m close enough to clunge Keep on playing, keep on trying I hope my luck will turn He blows me a kiss, it’s gone wrong My stomach starts to churn I’m getting more guy than girl this time All of the risks are starting to climb It’s so close I can smell it I wish that I could taste I really want to fuck it Oh God I’m close enough to clunge There’s a beard in my mouth, a rough hand in my hair But this clunge is so close that I just don’t care I can’t take this torture one second more I’m trying to escape but I’m nailed to the floor One more time I’ll give it a try One more time it’ll be alright One more time just for kicks Finally the girl is mine I just wanna kiss it Maybe I’ll spit on it I think I want to shave it? I God I’m close enough to… Close enough to clunge The pain has gone away Close enough to clunge I think I’m gonna spray I’ll put my fingers in it I’ll rub my junk all on it I’ll ease my cock into it Oh God I’m close enough Oh yeah I’m close enough Fuck yeah I’m close enough to clunge
7.
Let me set a scene A scenario if you will A tale of devotion And a really useful skill She's sat on the bed one day With sorrow in her eyes Without a word of warning She breaks down and cries Lay her down onto the bed Spread her legs and eat her out EAT HER OUT There will be times when your lover is down And all that you want is to vanquish their frown Get on your knees and give a sympathy lick Tongue it in good yeah, don't shoot for the brown Drink up the pink and just go to town Show her you love her with a sympathy lick There's always time for a sympathy lick Tongue rigor mortis And the circle of ecstasy Probing through the labia Of their vaginal destiny Clitoral stimulation Of an intrinsic design Muscular envelopment Under the hood of the divine Suck those flaps Tongue punch her Fish taco Fur Burger Sneeze in the cabbage of your lover tonight Yodel the valley of her growler, oh right Mumble her moss in a way that's only polite Lip-sync her juke box and tongue-dance up high Chew the she-fat in her sweet cherry pie Give a moustache ride and everything is all right! There's always time for a sympathy lick
8.
Highgarden girls, show us your bush Is it stripped clean, is the foliage lush River run girls, fish on your breath Open your legs, your flaps reek of death Iron born girls, we don’t sow But I’ll stick it somewhere your daddy won’t know Redkeep girls, queen or a whore They all look the same when they suck on my boar Yeah, these are the girls I’m looking for 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 more The iron throne will have to wait I want a girl from every horizon It’s all first rate when you’re making the eight By the Gods I feel the dragon rising Remember when we crossed swords and touched tips Just to get the Dornish girls to show us their tits A Lannister girl from Casterly Rock Dress like her brother so she sits on my cock Stormlands girl, I start to flag Bedded a beauty, woke up with a hag Something’s wrong, an epic fail My manhood breaks whilst up the Vale I AM THE GOD OF TITS AND WINE It’s over now – I’m off to bed I caught syphilis and warts from Cersei With a flaking knob and pounding head May the seven gods have mercy......on me
9.
Up and down, bounce all around Having lots of fun on a bouncy castle Jumping around, upside down Don't fall over, do a flip Bounce really high, reach for the sky I'm so happy, bouncing with you The sun is out, the birds are singing Bouncing together, let's do a sex! Up and down, take off your pants Having lots of fun, why are you smiling Jumping around, hold on tight You're getting kind of rough, it's starting to hurt Bounce really high, it feels sublime I'm so happy, I'm inside you The sun is out, I think I'm bleeding Bouncing together, why've you got a knife I've been destroyed and I'm pretty sure there's blood In the beginning it all looked quite fun Don't tell my mum, I don't want the hassle But I got destroyed on a bouncy castle Bounce, bounce, bounce, seduction Bounce, bounce, bounce bleed Bounce, bounce, bounce, destruction Bounce, bounce, bounce, yeah
10.
If you go down to the woods today Horror will dine with your soul In the deep of the night a tune will play And swallow your sanity whole A sinister dance that entrances the mind Then you are under their spell They plan to engulf all of mankind And leave just an empty shell Come dance with me Under the moonlight A strange and grizzly affair Deep in the woods Surrender outright And join the waltz of the bear The bears have gathered from all around Swaying from side to side They sense their prey and move to surround So you cannot run or hide Dark vacant eyes and teeth stained with red Their advancement fills you with fear The music enthrals all ‘til their dead It’s the last thing you’ll ever hear There’s no escape The bears have you now You are theirs to command They’ve taken your towns They’re inside your homes Mankind erased from the land
11.
Thundercunt 02:34
Thundercunt Thundercunt Thundercunt Thundercunt Rumbling from the heavens A new beast on the hunt Turning every eye A soul-enticing cunt Heat-seeking climate change A labial lament Vibrating, drenched, insane A cyclone of intent Dark clouds forming The sign her flange will sound a warning Intense storming Electric discharge, shocking, scorning Thundercunt She’s on the prowl Thundercunt With a bite and a growl Thundercunt She’ll have you pleading for more Thundercunt With a clap and a roar Thrashed against the rocks With all you thought you knew This girl seduces cock Iridescent through and through A mighty crash of thunder A Godly clunge decants Its treasure and its plunder In your heart and in your pants Squall line sounding The gaping rage – it swallows you Endless pounding It won’t stop until you’re through She’s a Thundercunt She’s a Thundercunt She’s a Thundercunt She’s a Thundercunt
12.
I see in front of me The dream, the fantasy made reality It's all free to me now I can feel it One, two, a hundred times Obsession grows and grows I can't stop coming back So much to see It's all over for me now I can't believe it’s happening My eye opens and closes This is The Fappening All there for me to see Willing away the hours, the weeks Can it be enough (or too much) I can take the pain I need to keep going It’s all I ever wanted I won’t let it end It’s never going to end Rapture, euphoria, enchantment, addiction The flesh, the violation, oh God...I'm back for more Such a sad state Wretched, sore and alone No morality, no implication I am destroyer destroyed
13.
In the distant future of the year 1945, a portal of purple light opens in the sky King Authur has sent Merlin through time to destroy a tyrant that threatens our very way of life Join us on a tale of love and vengeance, where nothing is what it seems Merlin must bring down Adolf Hitler's Robo-Nazi empire, close the rupture in space-time and restore freedom to the galaxy forever Landing on his feet in a stance-of-glory Facing Berlin's streets of blazing-fury Yeah, he's fucking cool Without hesitation the mecha-hun are on him Firing laser lugers and blitzkrieg-a-bombing Ha, so what? Merlin stuns the axis horde with a lightning flash from the skies And uses Mecahmedes, his robot owl, to take their fucking eyes Merlin - Hunting down the Nazis - In Berlin Merlin – Magic in their faces - In Berlin Merlin - In leather on a war bike - In Berlin Merlin - Fucking up the Third Reich -In Berlin He's a badass wizard motherfucker Dealing out some kickass Nazi karma Breaking them in half with his robot-armour He's a silver haired fox Sick-ass magic that'll surely entice you Taking out Schutzstaffel with fire and ice, yeah! Smooth as fuck Wearing SS officer skin, Merlin infiltrates their ranks Summoning forth Truman & Churchill in giant spider tanks Merlin - Riding in on lightnin' - In Berlin Merlin - Magic's kinda frightnin' - In Berlin Merlin - Taking down the Fuhrer - In Berlin Merlin - Saving mankind's future - In Berlin Magic Rambo, motherfucker. Yeah. Do my balls smell like Hitler Do my testes reek of fascism Does my scrotum whiff of the signs of mankind gone wrong Do my balls smell like Hitler Well... no... But if they did... Then my pants would be alive with the sounds of genocide And my gonads would burn with a blitzkrieg from which you can't hide My balls would incite racial hatred and randomly attack Poland Causing Britain and France to step in and shit to hit the fan Wait what the fuck am I saying Even if my balls did smell like a dead fascist dictator Which in itself is extremely fucking unlikely I mean, who the fuck would even know And why would the smell of my balls make me act like such a dick What did Hitler even smell like?

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Footprints In The Custard's third full-length album 'The Descent Of Decency' - 13 tracks of heavy as balls silliness.

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released May 21, 2016

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Footprints In The Custard Manchester, UK

Award-winning Party Metal Band from Manchester, UK.

Heavy and catchy tunes about partying, smelly genitals, unusual sexual habits, and bears.

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